“Fake I.D.” by Sauce Box

[It’s difficult to learn the customs. I once teleported directly into a bar, but that scared too many people and I’m not actually supposed to do that unless it’s an emergency. But then, when standing on line, I have to remind myself to always lie. Once, the bouncer asked my age so I told the truth which was that I’m 500 years old. That was a problem because I look like I’m 15. I went back to the caves. — Zawmb’yee Nuje]

Sauce Box

Over the weekend, I went out to the bars with some of my friends. We did not want to pay the price of an Uber, (knowing our wallets would already be taking a beating at the bars) and were in desperate need of a designated driver.  My sister decided to be the one to make Christmas come early. She wanted to bring her friend so they could use their fake I.D.s. They were supplying the ride, so I had no complaints.

We make it downtown and head to the bar we planned on staying at for the night. After waiting in line for a few minutes and people-watching all the drunkies, (always fun to do, until I become one of them, that is) we make it to the front of the line. My sister’s friend’s fake I.D. works like a charm, and my sister is up next. She hands the bouncer the…

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